5.02.2010

So We Thought.......Yeah Right.

I am just venting here, I don't know what else to do.
Here we sit, on the 2nd anti-seizure medication. Last week
I was hopeful, I saw some positive change. This weekend, she
has started acting up again. EXTRA hyper, Impulsive, refuses to eat (that is bad, since she takes 10 pills a day). I am throwing my arms up in the air. I don't know what to do.
I want them to figure out if this is the seizures, or if its behavior or both. I wish they would just hospitalize her so they can do some more tests to determine this (there is a way) and be able to actually see how she is. Then maybe they can try another medication on her and see how she does. I am so frustrated. I just want her to be able to function, and I want a sane house!
Its not that way right now by any means. She is saying "I don't like mommy" and that kills me inside. She said that today in front of quite a few people (talk about embarrassing). If she only understood how I agonize over her each minute of the day, how much I do for her each day to make sure she has all the care she needs, trying to do all I can to make her happy,etc. I know she is young and just doesn't get it. But, that does not change the fact that it made me feel like crap and that it hurt. I just want my girl back!
I am a bit panicked, as my husband is leaving to go out of state in a couple weeks and lord knows how I am going to handle her then. For all I know we may both end up in the hospital!

2 comments:

  1. Kristy, I just want to cry for you!! I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with so much. Let me know if you need any help, especially when you're all alone!

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  2. That is so hard! Just the other day I was thinking about how I would tell my mom I hated her when I was little and now, as a mom, knowing how badly that would hurt to hear. She will know one day all that you guys have done and will love you all the more for it. My fingers, legs, toes, everything is crossed that this will all be straightened out soon.

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