Back to School............

So I sent her back to public school. Something I vowed I would never do.  Yes, it was very hard.
But necessary.  I feel so blessed though. The charter school we were with was absolutely wonderful and did so much for us.  Thanks to them, I got her where she needed to be in the public school setting.
So today was her first day, and she was ready to go an hour and a half before school started.  Seeing her that excited made this transition better.  They welcomed her back with open arms.  Her little friends all came over and hugged her and told her that they were glad she was back (I choked up pretty bad then).
We have her  now placed where she SHOULD be.  In a Special Ed class where she won't have the stress she had before. Where she can get the repetition she needs. I have been told so many wonderful things about this teacher, and better yet, there is an aide that works in the class that has known Gilly all her life, and she will be my angel, watching over her while she is there (and she really is an angel of a lady).
At first I felt like I had failed her, by having to send her back.  But I realize that in the year I homeschooled her, it helped her destress and she did learn alot in that year.  I learned about her well, things I didn't know. I now know how I can help her better, and be an even better advocate. She needs this, and I need it just as bad.  I have lost myself badly through this. It didn't help hearing how much she missed her friends, and the days she would lay on her bed, crying that she had no friends and that no one loved her. That broke me apart.  So now we are both happy :)



So its official now.............Gillian is labeled with 3 different learning disabilities!
I have known for a while...........but I thought she just had maybe one, or I guess two if you count her ADHD.  But Three! that was a surprise.  Knowing that though, has made me able to understand her better.  She has : Slow processing, a memory disability along with an expressive language/speech one. Also her GARS scale test indicated she was VERY LIKELY autistic. Well duh-that one was not new.
I knew she was slow processing but honestly there have been quite a few times I thought she was playing me , so I would get very frustrated with her. The school psychologist talked to me the night before her IEP and asked if I had ever considered putting her in the special ed class at a brick and mortar school. I HAD but they refused. To this day I am STILL mad about that one.  She could probably get into the special Autism class they have in our school district as well, but there are some concerns with that class I just will not discuss here.  Sigh.  As hard as this is, and as much as I don't have much of a life anymore (thats a whole other story), I don't see it any other way, other than to keep homeschooling her.  But there has to be a solution to this! It is HARD. I never realized just how difficult this would be, and I have thought often that maybe I am just not cut out for this long term.  But I want her to have a GOOD life where even though she may not be "top of her class" or whatnot, but that she will be successful in what she does do well.  The school psychologist told me her visual skills are incredible, and she thinks in pictures, just as the well known autistic woman, Temple Grandin (who is one of my heroes). 

Recently I have been teaching Gillian to sew-she even has her own sewing machine now.  She is thrilled and I am sure she will do well :) Anything arty or crafty is right up her alley, and she is so good at it too.


Overdue Update & Gillian turns 9

Gillian just had her 9th birthday. It just seems like yesterday that she was born. She did alot of shopping for her birthday. Shopping has become one of her favorite things to do. She has also taken a real liking to clothes-she always has to look at clothes wherever we go shopping. So that is what I did-took her clothes shopping and let her pick out a few things. She had her whole day planned out-IHOP for breakfast , John's Incredible Pizza for lunch and she wanted to go to Denny's for dinner. Since we were all so sick of eating out and were so full from eating out the other two meals, we talked her into McDonalds for dinner instead (at least for her).  She had a fun filled day!

Homeschooling her has been one of the best things we have ever done.  She was tested at the beginning of the school year as well as the end and showed ginormous progress. The teacher said she has NEVER seen that much progress on that particular test (Called the WRAT test).  Gillian has been more happy and has really opened up. This summer, though, she kinda forgot some stuff so we are having to back track a little (at least on the reading) and review some skills. 
She was recently able to tell me her brain feels weird-In the end I think it is because her brain feels "fuzzy" due to all the medications she is on. That is concerning.  Last week she had an EEG to see if she is having seizures. Thankfully the test came back normal. Yippee!! Due to the comment she made last week and the happy news we got, I have put in a request to the doctor to wean her off the seizure med and 1 other med.  Her seizures are not the bad kind where she convulses, so I told them I would just like to see how she is without them and if need be we can put her back on them.  Same for one of the other meds for ADHD.  She is bouncy-but I figure all kids are.  Her focus has been good too-its great to see her maturing.  We did some sewing yesteday (brought my machine out after about 9 years or so) and made a drawstring bag as part of her social studies lessons on Nomads and how they would hunt and put their animals in a "game bag."  So we plan to do more sewing as it interests her.