But necessary. I feel so blessed though. The charter school we were with was absolutely wonderful and did so much for us. Thanks to them, I got her where she needed to be in the public school setting.
So today was her first day, and she was ready to go an hour and a half before school started. Seeing her that excited made this transition better. They welcomed her back with open arms. Her little friends all came over and hugged her and told her that they were glad she was back (I choked up pretty bad then).
We have her now placed where she SHOULD be. In a Special Ed class where she won't have the stress she had before. Where she can get the repetition she needs. I have been told so many wonderful things about this teacher, and better yet, there is an aide that works in the class that has known Gilly all her life, and she will be my angel, watching over her while she is there (and she really is an angel of a lady).
At first I felt like I had failed her, by having to send her back. But I realize that in the year I homeschooled her, it helped her destress and she did learn alot in that year. I learned about her well, things I didn't know. I now know how I can help her better, and be an even better advocate. She needs this, and I need it just as bad. I have lost myself badly through this. It didn't help hearing how much she missed her friends, and the days she would lay on her bed, crying that she had no friends and that no one loved her. That broke me apart. So now we are both happy :)